It's all hit me at once.  Just this evening...  about an hour or so again...  after my third beer.  It's the three beer mark you see.  things become much more lucid.  Anyways...

For those of you who don't know.  I finished my contract and maintained my professional demeanor.  no fights, no fits.  I left. 
I got a new job down south...  in Surrey.  A good job.  support and installations...  most of the support is done via email.  most of the installations are done abroad, which means travel for me.  They're going to train me up, put me on a two grand training course.  investing a lot in me, universive knows why.

Then began the mad panic of moving.  packing, tidying, cleaning, finishing bills...  you know the type of thing.  It's been pretty non-stop, and I've not even confirmed where I'll be living when I get down there.  Sort that out on Monday hopefully.

Anyway, I've been so busy the realisation that I would be leaving this place in manchester very shortly struck me tonight.  This place, though I've lived here for a year, holds lots of emotion for me.  Ups and Downs.  Mostly ups.  Everything in balance.  Tomorrow will be my last lie-in I expect.

Everything is in flux.  This is not something which most entities, be them human or otherwise, enjoy.  Leaving this place on monday pushes me further into that Chaos.  I am left in the hands of the universe...  a leaf on the wind...  so to speak.  I know that somewhere, there are safety nets but currently I'm approaching free fall.

Unfortunately, one of those safety nets decided to freak out a little, making my footfalls that little bit less certain.  I think it's ok.  I'm just blundering in the dark right now mostly.

So as ever, I hope for the best but plan for the worst.  This spider must spin his webs nice and securely or fall by the weyside